Jokes

I usually have about my person some positions to amuse young players at the end of an evening.

Here are some of my favourites:

Problems
Hints
Solutions

Problems.

White to play and...

1. Mate in half a move (?)

--------
--------
----Q---
--------
N-------
---k----
--------
R-K-----

2. Mate in 6 (Halumbirek)

K-k-----
P-Pp----
-p-P----
--------
p-------
P--P----
--------
--------

3. Mate in 2 (?)

RNB----k
--------
-------K
--------
--------
--------
pppppppp
--------

4. Mate Black without taking a pawn (Brown)

---rR---
--np---R
-K-p----
--ppN---
-Npk-p--
--ppb---
---P---B
-------b

5. Mate in 2 (Loyd)

--brrb--
--------
p-------
-------Q
-p-kpPp-
-P-pN-P-
---K----
--------

6. Mate in...14!

-------K
--------
--N-----
-----ppp
----ppnq
----pkp-
----nrrb
-----bb-

Hints.

1. Is there a move in chess that you make in two halves?

2. Seriously, if you can't solve this one, you should give up chess!

3. Yes, Black is about to make 8 new Queens! Try moving the Knight first.

4. A puzzle inspired by the Iron Cage of Tamerlane.

5. A puzzle called 'Organ Pipes': imagine it's Black to move?

6. With the White King on g6, and Black to move...

Solutions.

1. 1.Ra1-d1 completes Queen's-side castling.

2. All moves are forced: 1. d4 b5 2. d5 b4 3. axb4 a3 4. b5 a2 5. b6 a1=Q 6. b7# 1-0

3. 1. Nc6! and now e.g. 1...a1=Q 2. Ba6# by discovered check.

Also:
(1... f1=Q 2. Bf5#)
(1... e1=Q 2. Be6#)
(1... d1=Q 2. Bd7#)
(1... b1=Q 2. Bb7#)
(1... c1=Q 2. Be6#)
(1... f1=Q 2. Bf5#)
(1... g1=Q 2. Bg4#)
(1... h1=Q+ 2. Bh3#)

4. 1. Nec6+ dxc6 2. dxe3+ fxe3 3. Rh4+ Be4 4. Rhxe4+ dxe4 5. Be5+ dxe5 6. Rxd8+
Nd5+ 7. Rxd5+ cxd5 8. Nc6# 1-0

5. 1. Qa5 Bb7 2. Nf5# or...

(1... Bd7 2. Qd5#)
(1... Be6 2. Qe5#)
(1... Bf5 2. Nxf5#)
(1... Rd6 2. Qxb4#)
(1... Rd5 2. Qxd5#)
(1... Re5 2. Qxe5#)
(1... Bc5 2. Qa1#)
(1... Bb7 2. Nf5#)

6. 1. Kg7 Qh3 2. Kf8 Qh4 (2... h4 3. Kg7 Ne5 4. Nxe5#) 3. Ke7 Qh3 4. Kd8 Qh4
5. Kc7 Qh3 6. Kc8 Qh4 7. Kd8 Qh3 8. Ke7 Qh4 9. Kf8 Qh3 10. Kg7 Qh4 11. Kg6 Qh3
12. Kxg5 Qh4+ 13. Kxh4 Nc3 14. Nd4# 1-0

Chess Quotes

(after 1 d4, Nf6; 2 c4, g6; 3 Nf3, Bg7; 4 g3, O-O; 5 Bg2, d6; 6 O-O, c5; 7 Nc3, Nc6; 8 d5, Na5)
"Many are of the opinion that the Knight on QR4(a5) does not participate fully in the struggle, while others hold that, on the contrary, in view of Black's coming Q-side pawn advance and pressure against White's QB4(c4), his position is quite satisfactory. These debates are futile. The important thing is to see clearly what is positive and what is negative in the position of the Knight, and act accordingly when choosing a strategic plan."
— MAROVIC and SUSIC