Jokes

I usually have about my person some positions to amuse young players at the end of an evening.

Here are some of my favourites:

Problems
Hints
Solutions

Problems.

White to play and...

1. Mate in half a move (?)

--------
--------
----Q---
--------
N-------
---k----
--------
R-K-----

2. Mate in 6 (Halumbirek)

K-k-----
P-Pp----
-p-P----
--------
p-------
P--P----
--------
--------

3. Mate in 2 (?)

RNB----k
--------
-------K
--------
--------
--------
pppppppp
--------

4. Mate Black without taking a pawn (Brown)

---rR---
--np---R
-K-p----
--ppN---
-Npk-p--
--ppb---
---P---B
-------b

5. Mate in 2 (Loyd)

--brrb--
--------
p-------
-------Q
-p-kpPp-
-P-pN-P-
---K----
--------

6. Mate in...14!

-------K
--------
--N-----
-----ppp
----ppnq
----pkp-
----nrrb
-----bb-

Hints.

1. Is there a move in chess that you make in two halves?

2. Seriously, if you can't solve this one, you should give up chess!

3. Yes, Black is about to make 8 new Queens! Try moving the Knight first.

4. A puzzle inspired by the Iron Cage of Tamerlane.

5. A puzzle called 'Organ Pipes': imagine it's Black to move?

6. With the White King on g6, and Black to move...

Solutions.

1. 1.Ra1-d1 completes Queen's-side castling.

2. All moves are forced: 1. d4 b5 2. d5 b4 3. axb4 a3 4. b5 a2 5. b6 a1=Q 6. b7# 1-0

3. 1. Nc6! and now e.g. 1...a1=Q 2. Ba6# by discovered check.

Also:
(1... f1=Q 2. Bf5#)
(1... e1=Q 2. Be6#)
(1... d1=Q 2. Bd7#)
(1... b1=Q 2. Bb7#)
(1... c1=Q 2. Be6#)
(1... f1=Q 2. Bf5#)
(1... g1=Q 2. Bg4#)
(1... h1=Q+ 2. Bh3#)

4. 1. Nec6+ dxc6 2. dxe3+ fxe3 3. Rh4+ Be4 4. Rhxe4+ dxe4 5. Be5+ dxe5 6. Rxd8+
Nd5+ 7. Rxd5+ cxd5 8. Nc6# 1-0

5. 1. Qa5 Bb7 2. Nf5# or...

(1... Bd7 2. Qd5#)
(1... Be6 2. Qe5#)
(1... Bf5 2. Nxf5#)
(1... Rd6 2. Qxb4#)
(1... Rd5 2. Qxd5#)
(1... Re5 2. Qxe5#)
(1... Bc5 2. Qa1#)
(1... Bb7 2. Nf5#)

6. 1. Kg7 Qh3 2. Kf8 Qh4 (2... h4 3. Kg7 Ne5 4. Nxe5#) 3. Ke7 Qh3 4. Kd8 Qh4
5. Kc7 Qh3 6. Kc8 Qh4 7. Kd8 Qh3 8. Ke7 Qh4 9. Kf8 Qh3 10. Kg7 Qh4 11. Kg6 Qh3
12. Kxg5 Qh4+ 13. Kxh4 Nc3 14. Nd4# 1-0

Chess Quotes

"Flip-Coin Chess: Does not pay attention to all (or sometimes even any!)
of the threats generated by the opponent's previous move.

Hope Chess: Does pay attention to all the threats generated by the
opponent's previous move, but, before making their current move, does
not check to make sure that all checks, captures, and threats by the
opponent on the next move (in reply to that move) can be safely met.

Real Chess: Not only deals with opponent's threats from the previous
move but, before making their move, also makes sure that the opponent

— Dan HEISMAN