A press release

And yea, for there came a day

When the men of Exeter heard the trumpets sound

As Plymouth came forth to do battle in the Schofield Cup

And the Exeter captain, who was called Roberts, said unto his men:

"We're in it up to our necks here, lads, for Plymouth are undefeated so far, and they hath already spanked our B team, and lo! for they outgradeth us on every board, save one. "

And the men of Exeter were sore afraid, but their hearts were as oak, and they rode forth to do battle

And hark! for there commenced a bit of a turn up

And the men of Exeter —

who were called Kennedy, and Kennedy begat Blackmore, and Blackmore begat Rosseinsky, and Rosseinsky begat Roberts

But only in a chess sense, obviously —

Vanquished their foes on every board, save one

And even that was a draw

And Plymouth were chastened, for they knew that they had been wazzocked

And the men of Exeter stood proud yet meek, for they lived to fight another day. 

Mark Blackmore

Chess Quotes

"'Tis all a Chequer-board of Nights and Days
Where Destiny with Men for Pieces plays:
Hither and thither moves, and mates, and slays,
And one by one back in the Closet lays.
Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam
Rendered into English Verse by Edward Fitzgerald, First Edition
"Impotent Pieces of the Game He plays
Upon this Chequer-board of Nights and Days;
— Fifth edition, http://www.nmaa.si.edu/vedder/slide37p.html

 There are other editions, and other translations, but none, I think, on the Web.