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Chess Quotes

Here are some of the questions and answers to an examination paper in chess that was given some time ago by Dr. TARRASCH. (...)
"Q: What is the object of playing a gambit opening?
A: To acquire a reputation of being a dashing player at the cost of losing a game.

  Q: Account briefly for the popularity of the Queen Pawn Opening in matches of a serious nature.
A: Laziness.

  Q: What is the duty of an umpire where a player wilfully upsets the board?
A: Remove the bottle.

Chess Review, 1935.