And yea, for there came a day

When the men of Exeter heard the trumpets sound

As Plymouth came forth to do battle in the Schofield Cup

And the Exeter captain, who was called Roberts, said unto his men:

"We're in it up to our necks here, lads, for Plymouth are undefeated so far, and they hath already spanked our B team, and lo! for they outgradeth us on every board, save one. "

And the men of Exeter were sore afraid, but their hearts were as oak, and they rode forth to do battle

And hark! for there commenced a bit of a turn up

And the men of Exeter —

who were called Kennedy, and Kennedy begat Blackmore, and Blackmore begat Rosseinsky, and Rosseinsky begat Roberts

But only in a chess sense, obviously —

Vanquished their foes on every board, save one

And even that was a draw

And Plymouth were chastened, for they knew that they had been wazzocked

And the men of Exeter stood proud yet meek, for they lived to fight another day. 

Mark Blackmore