The EXE files

Another recent press release

THE EXE FILES

Dana Scully stepped gingerly into her partner's office.  "Have a seat," said Mulder, flicking off the lights.  All at once the room echoed with loud, eerie footsteps.  "What's that!" cried Mulder. 

"It's your foot," sighed Scully. 

"Perhaps... OR WAS IT?" Mulder said, shining a torch under his face.  He turned on his projector and a group of people playing chess appeared on the screen. 

"This is Exeter Chess Club.  Easily the strongest in Devon. "

"I've heard of them," Scully nodded, hoping nobody would notice that she was about thirty-eight months pregnant. 

"That is, until now" said Mulder handsomely.  "This year has seen the fall from grace of Exeter Chess Club.  The '95-'96 season saw them win virtually every tournament they entered.  Since the '96-'97 season began Exeter have lost to, among others, Tiverton, Plymouth, Torbay, Teignmouth—"

"Doesn't seem so strange. "

" — and Exmouth. "

"My God!"

"Exactly.  Players have suffered drastic loss of form.  Losing won games.  Beaten by inferior opposition.  All with no rational explanation. "

"Maybe they're just having a bad year. "

"Hmm.  When you say 'bad year'," said Mulder thoughtfully, "I think what you mean to say is 'alien conspiracy'". 

"I'm leaving," said Scully, her hair glowing a-carrot. 

"No wait!" shouted Mulder.  "It's poltergeists, evil little ghosties forcing them to make rubbish moves! Or a gypsy curse! And chess vampires, sucking their ability! Wait a minute, what's that light on the ceiling! Wooooo! Wooooooo—"

Scully shut the door.  Another case unsolved. 

 

- Mark Blackmore

Chess Quotes

"I don't know what I am going to play, so how can she know what I am going to play!"
— GM Arthur Bisguier, commenting on the virtues of opening preparation. (via Rachel Landry)